You don't want to ever be Number 8.
Master Jacques appeared at a martial arts tournament as a demonstrator. If you’ve been around the MA world, especially before MMA arrived on the scene, you know the atmosphere. Blindfolded, holding "nunchuks" (aka two pieces of wood on a string), you can imagine him standing in a circle of his students (selected for courage and/or devotion, but intelligence ... questionable). Eight students, forming an octagon - as Master Jacques prepared himself for the task of deftly but powerfully whacking the apples from their mouths (yes, they're standing there with apples in their teeth).
This would be an impressive feat – striking the apples but leaving the students unscathed – even with open eyes. But with a blind fold? The crowd was riveted.
Master Jacques completed his intense meditation, and swinging his nunchucks in a flash of motion, popped Number 1 squarely on the jaw. Dropped him like he was hit by lightening. Then ... he hit Number 2, Number 3, Number 4, Number 5, Number 6 and Number 7 ... they flopped to the ground like a grenade went off. Something - perhaps the hollow sound of a skull bouncing from the floor - keyed Master Jacques in to the fact that all was not going as planned. Maybe it wasn't the heads hitting the floor, perhaps it was his refined situational awareness or ninja like intuition. Whatever the reason, Master Jacques raised his blindfold to peek at number 8, as if to clarify the correct range and bearing for the final impressive blindfolded strike. Perhaps that is what gave Number 8 the confidence to do what I don't think I could have ... hope I wouldn’t have …. to stand there so that Master Jacques could knock his stupid ass out too. Which Master Jaques did.
So please, my CF brethren and sisteren, should you be in position to do so, remind me NOT to be a figurative Number 8 and will do my best to perform a similar service for you.
This story brought to you courtesy of my beloved instructor, mentor and friend, the man who introduced me to my bride of the last 9+ years, Mr. Alan S. Gardner, of Bath, Maine. He died the night I started my trip home from Iraq in 2006 for R&R. I was in the group phone booth in Kuwait, on the way home after 8 months, crying like a baby. It still feels like I lost him yesterday, probably for all of us who knew him. 800 people converged on Bath, Maine for his funeral, but I was back in the desert by then (that was within two weeks of my discovery of CrossFit. He would have said "the old saying goes that when the student is ready, the teacher will be there"). He could tell this and the other two episodes of Master Jacques’ tournament appearance and keep a crowd of 50 crippled from laughter. The legacy he left was a very small version of CrossFit; people who loved to sweat and learn together, people who worked hard to excel, people who found a teacher with no end of knowledge, people of passion and at least some courage who formed a community around a man we loved.
Forgive the indulgence – but having started the tale of Master Jaques, I found the rest of the story too compelling to leave out and I offer it as an altogether inadequate thank you and tribute to my friend.
Master Jacques part II. After an few more events at the tournament, the announcer returned to announce, with a somewhat ambiguous tone, that Master Jacques was to return for a second demonstration. The crowd quieted - how could even a Master follow up such a knock out first performance? His students brought out a box, a sledge, and some glass bottles, and a another carried boards - clearly, there was to be a board breaking demo. The purpose of the glass was revealed when the audience watched and heard the students breaking the glass bottles, then they poured the contents into a circle drawn on the stadium floor.
Cool! Man stands on glass and punches through wood - that's a gutsy demo, especially for small town Maine. Perhaps Master Jacques has game after all?! Master Jacques takes his position in the center of the glass, his students line up, four of them, one on each side of the Master.
After a dramatic, deep breathing warm up, Master Jacques signaled his request to the students to present his four targets, which they did. However, the student facing him presented the board at an angle (edge of the board towards the Master) that could only mean the Master's intention was to execute a spinning technique. Every karateka in the room immediately winced - spinning kicks on glass? Are you kidding me?
Master Jacques began his demo with a ferocious kiaa/yell, which finished in a sort of a wailing wimper as he quarter spun on one foot and froze in place. He hobbled out of the ring and left bloody foot prints across the floor as he beat a hasty-as-possible retreat. At this point, a few in the audience clapped as Master Jacques devoted acolytes cleaned up the glass ... and blood.
The tournament spun back up, and the buzz about Master Jacques' memorable performances was growing. Later in the tournament when the announcer returned and trumpeted the news that Master Jacques would be presenting another impressive demonstration, the crowd went wild!
Master Jacques returned to the floor to enthusiastic cheers. His students, who trailed behind the Master, brought two chairs and some boards for a breaking demo. The set up was quick and no one could figure out how this would top his previous attempts - anticipation was keen. Master J set up the first board on the chairs. They were folding metal chairs. And they were facing away from each other - a soon to be delicious oversight. After a suitable warm up and kiai/yell, he dropped a wicked and obviously well polished sword hand chop directly on the middle of the timber suspended on the back edge of the seat of the two chairs. The chairs folded up in a spectacular fashion, and the momentum of the event resulted in the chairs arriving on opposite sides of Master J's head in more less simultaneous impacts. Master Jacques succeeded in knocking himself out in perhaps a one and only version of the act. He departed the stage - carried by his dismayed students - to a standing ovation.
I heard this story many times and met one other martial artist at a tournament who confirmed it.
