I spent Thanksgivings either in Florence or Demopolis, Alabama. We lived in Florence and had grandparents there. Demopolis held hunting camp with extended family, and family tradition that ran 50 years, and a huge feast with kid tables and all kinds of family stories.
We were so white and professional and religious and polite and, at least for the kids, oblivious.
Most of my relatives were married and older and successful in their fields of work. Their professions were thinks like airline pilot, NASA engineer, accountant, doctor, civil engineer, lawyer and businessmen. I don't know that any of the spouses worked. Virtually all of the couples had children.
These were hard working people and very kind and mannerly. They could also hunt, fish, work a farm and had travelled the world. Many were veterans. They were what Brokaw called "the greatest generation", having lived through the world wars, the 1918 flu pandemic, the depression, the Korean war, Viet Nam, the 60s and the Cold War. They grieved the Kennedys and King, and saw the attempted assassinations of Wallace, Ford and Reagan.
I don't know if they were democrats or republicans. Much more relevant was that some were Auburn fans. We didn't love those folks any less, though, and enjoyed playing poker with them (gentlemen's poker, nickel-dime-quarter, max of 3 raises per round of betting, nothing wild), getting them some branch water for the whiskey (I never saw one drunk until later when my granddad's alcoholism was beyond hiding), letting them tell us about squirrel hunting weapons, and having them set up shooting challenges after lunch at hunting camp.
I recently acquired a 20 gauge double barrel shotgun. My uncle Ellery, WWII pilot and NASA engineer, of the even, confident temperament and always ready with a warm greeting and grin, used to hunt with a 20 gauge double. I asked once why he didn't get a 12 gauge - bigger must be better, right? His reply was polite and firm and he noted he didn't need a bigger shotgun for squirrel hunting, the 20 was plenty. He may have pointed out how the 20 was also lighter and more pleasant to carry in the field. He probably remembered when hunting for food meant using the least expensive ammo (shells for the 20 being cheaper than for a 12). I had forgotten that exchange until recently as I described why I purchased the 20 to my youngest son. I dismissed Uncle Ellery's logic outright all those years ago, since I didn't value light weight or "big enough" - I was a teenager, I wanted "more". I used magnum 5 or 6 shot for my 12 gauge semi auto, (although I had plenty of luck shooting squirrels with a single barrel 20 until I was deemed big and responsible enough to handle the 12 gauge at age 12). I'm looking forward to toting the 20 gauge double next year for squirrels or turkey or some such game, to complete the circle of Uncle Ellery's wisdom.
I liked some more than others, of course, but they were all admirable men. I never saw them say an unkind thing to another person of any race, or treat a spouse with anything but kindness and respect. They tended to their kids, they loved their sick or healthy spouses and they acted interested in all us kids. I didn't have as much luck success find friends my own age back then, and their care and interaction was a gift. Of course, I found out later their struggles were hidden to me, and some were not as kind as they seemed. Nonetheless, the strong, kind, competent man, even tempered and hard working, was the vision of masculinity I grew up in.
I didn't know how profound and lucky that experience was. No doubt, what I believed would be "the good life" was what I saw from my parents and grandparents and that was reflected by these men and their families.
Those days are gone. Most of them are gone. I live 2000 miles to the north. I've grieved having lost touch with them, but that's what a US Navy career will do to a person (and knowing that, I delayed joining for as long as I could).
Today I am thankful for them, for that time, and for the gifts they gave that still benefit me today.
